No is an answer.

Kitchen, 7:00 AM, My son sits in a highchair watching me make his breakfast.

"Jack, do you want some blueberries?" "No."

"How about a banana?" "NO."

"What about eggs?" "No no."

"Ok. Do you want to get down?" "NO!"

I set the cowboy-themed plate of bananas, blueberries and eggs down in front of him, he demolishes it. He looks at me and signs 'more' repeating "mo, mo, mo, mo".

"No". It's one of the earliest words we learn. It was not Jack's first, but it is definitely his favorite. He's 1 1/2 and this little word is not only easy for him to say, it's also the first real tool he has to control his own reality.

"Jack do you want to get dressed?" "No."

"Jack do you want to take a bath?" "No."

This little word is so powerful. I joked with my husband and said "Gosh I wish we could all just say 'no' like that!"

And then I started to think about that. When is it exactly that we are taught that 'no' is not an appropriate answer? 'No' is control, 'no' is valid, and yet, as adults we do everything to avoid telling people 'no'.

What happens between toddlerhood and adulthood that conditions us to accept everyone else's decisions, desires or wishes over our own? When did 'no' become a bad word?

To be honest, I don't know the answer. I know as children we are taught to be obedient, to listen, to be quiet... to be controllable. And as a mother with a VERY stubborn toddler I see the necessity in that. I have to teach Jack to listen and to self regulate and calm down. But as he gets older, I'm realizing that I will have to teach him when and who to obey.

As a leadership coach, one of the things I see regularly is people being afraid to challenge norms. No one wants to cause a scene or a problem. Typically, this is necessary, we can't go around kicking up dust aimlessly. But we also have to know when we absolutely MUST kick up dust.

There are times in our lives that we must disobey. Change at it's core is disobedience from the norm. This is tricky because we have been conditioned that to be 'good' is to be obedient.

But here's the thing. When it comes to being a 'good' leader, you have to get comfortable with being disobedient.

And if you're reading this and thinking "Whoa Meghan... What? Let me explain. Disobedient does not equal disrespectful. It means recognizing existing frameworks, pathways and mental maps and recognizing that there is a better way.

How you disobey is what matters.

The term for disobeying, or disagreeing respectfully and for good is loyal dissent.

Loyal dissent is the art of speaking up when you see a better way forward, not to undermine your team, but to protect its mission and values. Healthy teams depend on it—without honest pushback, blind spots grow, bad ideas take root, and trust erodes. Practicing loyal dissent means pairing candor with respect: listen first, frame your perspective around shared goals, and offer solutions instead of just criticisms. When team members feel safe to challenge ideas and leaders welcome those challenges, the result is smarter decisions, stronger trust, and a culture where everyone’s commitment runs deeper than quiet compliance.

So, maybe my darling toddler is on to something. Maybe we need to remember that 'No' is not a bad word, and that instead it can be used for good when applied thoughtfully.